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Post chair carrying day 50


Here we are. Tomorrow afternoon will mark the same amount of time without the chair as the amount of days I carried it. Wow. Brilliant. Beautiful. Joyous. Quiet. Anti-climactic. Simply done.


It's Friday. I talked a bit with friends today. Carol, whom I've written about was one of them. Talked with my sister. Talked with my daughter. My husband. My dog. Heard myself saying this has been one of the most notable weeks of my life. Not because of the end of the FCP or post-FCP, but because of where the FCP has taken me, which is to this moment. All week. A week of moments. Not just the FCP brought about this sense of presence, of course, but other experiences along these 100+ days as well; and then too all of the experiences in my 51+ years as well I suppose. It's been one of those times one notices her entire life led her to this point.


This week has been continuous moments of presence, mindfulness, allowing. Of course the moments were mixed with thousands (millions?) of experiences of being human; but never before have I felt so present in those experiences. A strand of pearls. Every moment precious in it's own existence all the more beautiful joined along the strand. There is still effort and likely will be all my life, effort and discipline, learning more and more about how to be present with myself and others and All -- including of course Fear and Love. I am encouraged though in this moment and inspired and grateful, mostly grateful. Most humbly grateful...