my . artist run website

Return to Broke-open Art Blog

Post-carrying Day 7


Must    post   blog    .... 


SO tired. It's 11:30. Just finished my painting for the 30;30 challenge. Check it out. 


Today what I have to say is I LOVE that I did the FCP!!! Detatchment, that's the word I needed last night. I am far better able to observe myself in conversations in a bit more detatched way so that I can observe when Fear creeps in. Today I had two lovely conversations, one at the post office and one at the auto parts store. At the post office, I noticed myself assessing that we'd talked too long and the counter person might get in trouble, so I stepped away, signalling a closing to the conversation. The counter person kept talking. He was telling me about his time in the service in a foreign country and how the people were wonderful, etc... It was actually very evident that he would love to go back to the country to visit. After I noticed that I'd stepped away and that it was out of Fear, I stepped back forward and continued to be engaged in the conversation. And, again, it was lovely! I learned some things and it seemed he really enjoyed sharing the stories. Incidentally, when someone else came in for postal help, we did wrap it up so they didn't have to wait.


This encounter allowed me to be open to NOW. And when NOW was in the auto parts store, the clerk there shared a great conversation with me as well. Very cool. I felt very grateful. 


Later, though, I must admit, I stopped in at a place  where I used to work but quit about a long time ago and I noticed I still have some old Fear wrapped up in that place and some memories that keep me more on guard. I will keep working on it...


I just think it's interesting too that detatchment actually helps me connect better with people. I think I used to be too immersed in experiences. Like swimming with everyone in the pool of experiences. Now I think I am standing on land. Odd, I once was very into exploring shamanism and spiritual travel and one time I was at a workshop and we were given the suggestion to travel to our foundation. To ask our spirit guide/s to help us explore our foundation. This was a couple years ago. Anyway, when we talked later, I laughingly told everyone the truth, that my foundation was water. As I journeyed, from the moment I started, actually, I was under water. The Shaman who guided us suggested I work on building my foundation of something more substantial. Hmmm.... Think I have.