I don't know if I blogged about this before. I don't think so, so here I go.
Over 20 years ago, it became apparent to me that at the end of a year, some word or idea would seem to be recurring. I took it at that time and since to mean that this was to be somehow incorporated into the upcoming year as some sort or other “theme” to my life. I wish I’d kept a clear list of all the themes throughout the years. It may have enlightened me a bit as I look back. But, that didn’t happen. I DO recall the first theme was “Anya.” 1996 was the year of “Anya.”
These themes are not all fun and pretty. 1996 was the year I separated from my first husband, cut off all contact with birth family members (for almost two years) and started a relationship with an abusive man. But it also was the year I learned how to rock climb and began mountaineering training, got over (for the most part) my fear of heights and spiders (I discovered they were both related to loss of control, something rock climbing helped me process), began an apprenticeship in mannequin restoration, and found I could be a single mom
Somewhere in the decades, “Exuberance,” showed up. That was a wild year, I can tell you that. In short, every word/theme has blessings and challenges. Like most all of life. Last year was the year of “Flying.” I’ve never had so many opportunities or resources to travel as last year. So many gifts in that, and many challenges. The year my Beloved left this world, the theme had been “Prosperity.” That word downloaded in my brain one day before he disappeared for three weeks. It was a challenging theme for a challenging year. During that year however, I also was presented with my first gallery show dates. I found a painting and life mentor among other blessings amid heartbreak. I also first learned to love fiercely tenderly that year and with open hands.
So, how does it work for me? Well, here’s the usual scenario: come December, I tend to feel reflective in gratitude about the year. Noting what all played out and where the theme of that year took me. I thank God, the Universe and Everything for the challenges and lessons learned as well as the more easily identifiable blessings. Then I pray with open hands, mind and heart asking for a theme for the coming year. Sometime during the month of December, a word begins showing up and downloading in my brain from time to time. Eventually I notice and sense that this is “the word.”
When “the word,” downloads, generally there are two responses. An initial relief that trust in God, the Universe and Everything really does work, again. And the second is “REALLY?” and “Are YOU SURE? ‘Cause, I can’t see how …” Basically, I wrestle with the gift. In the end, invariably, I am certain God the Universe and Everything must have a good laugh over my seeming need to question the sense in whatever word was chosen. But invariably I come to my senses and acquiesce to the Divine powers that be. Then I wait and mostly begin moving forward, leaning into where this new word takes me.
So, this year’s word, which has actually been knocking at my consciousness’ door for about 6 months and finally it got in, is “Writing.” Ta da! Here we are and here we go…!